The Lighthouse
The Lighthouse
Under the dark and starry sky,
The lighthouse glowed from the distance
With an eerie feeling haunting it, and a dense
Fog covering, made it look like a home of a spy.
Spine chilling breeze gently touched the keeper
Who stood by the pane in his leather robe.
Unbothered by the crashing waves and taking a puff
From his cigar, he grew tensed and bored.
Poured himself some wine and sank in the chair,
Gulped it and turned on the gramophone.
His eyes drooped at a snail’s pace
To the melancholic rhythm that filled the zone.
A pat on the window startled him,
Opening his eyes, he saw bright light.
The clocked showed half past 7,
He went to the window and viewed the clear sight.
There was tranquility in the sea,
Something he longed for since he was stationed.
With hope in his eyes and joy in his heart,
He prayed for the bright light to stay.
But to his terror, he saw a written note on the table,
“Would you like to get out?” said the note.
His hand the note while he looked around himself,
Wondering if is it a hallucination or not.
The poem’s description of the lighthouse,the keeper and the developing drama create an eerie and evocative tone overall.
The theme of the poem appears to revolve around mystery,isolation and unknown.
One thing to praise is the anticipation is effectively conveyed here through images.
There are few places where you could improve your poetry though:-
1.The poem currently has an AABBCC rhyme,which can get boring.To add some unpredictability and musicality,try out several rhyme schemes or use slant rhyme.
2.Enhance the rhythm and flow.
The poem flows well overall but
there are several section where
the meter seems a little odd.
3. Expand on sensory details this
will throughly envelope the
reader in the atmosphere.
4.Increase the emotional impact
by doing this you can go further i
into the keepers feelings and
motivation while still mentioning
his desire for peace and his
initial optimism.
5.create a satisfying conclusion.
Consider extending the
conclusion by offering some
closure and tension.
Your poetry has a solid base overall and captures a fascinating atmosphere. You may increase its impact and make it more appealing by polishing the aforementioned components. Continue your wonderful effort!
All the best👍👍
Thank you for your opinion. Well this was my first poem here. I’ll certainly work on my writing style.