Mind At War

I couldn’t see my life burning anymore
Let wild oceans and strong waves hit the shore
For I have this heat inside of me
And I don’t want to turn into ashes
for ashes are all I see
Deep down I was fighting for my joy
lost desire and not restful
It’s gone now It has ended
for now I shall rest in peace.
Give me one last kiss
My grave is dug, my body is freezing
Call me one more time, I’ll wake up I’m dying Going down the memory lane
All I’ve encountered is pain
What flash backs will I receive
Shut your doors and leave
My dear love if u call me once
I’ll wake up from the dead and dance
There’s a sweet confusion in my head
The grave’s dug the bed is set
I heard you murmured of my death
My eyes are closed there’s no breath left.

~Isha Sharma

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Responses

  1. This beautiful poem portrays sadness and a wish for calm while intertwining themes of death and loneliness. The vivid representations and connections generate strong feelings, and the recurrence of them adds depth. The last phrases express sorrow and treachery. It’s an emotional expression of suffering and yearning for solace.
    The poet has expressed her feelings in rhythm, and added music to her longing through the play of words.

  2. This poem represents internal confusion and the meaning of breaking free from pain, as the poet is consumed by the war in his head, just as the speaker feels engulfed by the confusion and unable to identify the meaning of hope in his life. There is a desire for calm and acceptance in the latter moments of his life, and he is making contact with a loved one and feels that if they call upon him again he will be dancing. Finally, the poet investigates himself in his difficulties and wishes to break free from the suffering in his life, and he wanted to strike the delicate balance between acceptance, love, and holding on to one’s passion and inevitability.

  3. To start, the poet’s state of mind appears to be introspective, and sad while it’s longing for connection in the face of mortality. The poem reflects a sense of resignation and acceptance of the inevitable.

    On examining the technical aspects we can see that the poem has an irregular rhyming scheme, with occasional internal rhymes and repetition of sounds. You can see this in the lines, “For I have this heat inside of me” which shows occasional internal rhyme with the repetition of the “ee” sound in “heat” and “me. The literary tone is melancholic and reflective, expressing a sense of loss, longing, and acceptance of mortality. The emotions which are conveyed include desperation, sadness, resignation, and a desire for connection even in death.

    Some of its highlights include:
    The speaker acknowledges their life burning and welcomes the turmoil of wild oceans and waves.
    There is a metaphorical reference to the heat inside, symbolizing passion or life force.
    The poem reflects a struggle for joy, lost desires, and unrest.
    The speaker desires a final kiss, indicating a longing for affection or closure.
    The speaker expresses a willingness to come alive again with the call of their beloved.
    The poem ends with the acknowledgment of death and the closing of the speaker’s eyes.

    Some improvements and thoughts on the poem are:
    The poem could benefit from a more consistent rhyme scheme and meter to enhance its flow and musicality.
    The emotions and themes explored in the poem are poignant and evoke a sense of melancholy effectively.
    The imagery of burning, waves, ashes, and graves adds depth to the poem’s tone and themes.
    The repetition of certain phrases, such as “Call me one more time, I’ll wake up,” adds emphasis and reinforces the longing expressed by the speaker.
    The poem could be improved by refining its structure, strengthening its imagery, and incorporating more precise language to enhance its impact on the reader.

    To conclude, the poem captures a somber mood and explores themes of mortality, longing, and the desire for connection. With some refinement, it has the potential to evoke a stronger emotional response and create a more cohesive poetic experience for the reader.

  4. The poem “I Couldn’t See My Life Burning Anymore” by Isha Sharma is a powerful and evocative piece of writing.The poem is full of raw emotion,………..I particularly enjoyed the line “I heard you murmured of my death / My eyes are closed there’s no breath left.” This line captures the speaker’s final moments of life, and the sense of finality is both heartbreaking and beautiful……………..Your poem is a testament to your strength and resilience. You have faced great pain, but you have come out the other side stronger and more beautiful. I am inspired by your story, and I know that you will continue to create beautiful things in the world

  5. This is such a beautiful poem which tells that poet is in conflict with herself she says that she is dying but one voice of her loved one can make her alive again. She believes that whatever pain she received will fade away with death but is also sad that her loved one couldn’t be seen anymore. Such a heartwarming piece.

  6. This is such a beautiful poem which tells that poet is in conflict with herself she says that she is dying but one voice of her loved one can make her alive again. She believes that whatever pain she received will fade away with death but is also sad that her loved one couldn’t be seen anymore. Such a heartwarming piece.

  7. That’s the real love Isha, which I see and feel through reading your poem . Yes, true love never end; rather it goes beyond birth and death. Even after ours last breath.

    And life ? Life is all about going through a whole specific process just for our vitality, existence and our growth. I see through your verse, you have such courage to ceaselessly grow in your life, that’s amazing☺💚.
    Carry on your writing.

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