Doubts and issues

Will I ever feel secure in my own skin?
Will I ever be able to accept everything the way it is?
Why do I always feel so low?
Why do I always feel like I’m never enough?
No one has to plant these seeds of self doubt in me when I do such a good job at it myself
Then why, even when everyone says otherwise, do I still feel the same?
I got a guy who says he loves me but why do his actions never show that?
They say they’re just friends then why can’t I accept it?
He spends all his free time with her and when I ask, he’s busy
When she’s with him, he forgets that I exist, then what’s the point of me?
Am I just to use? And I just to play?
Do I have no meaning in his life? Am I just a stray?
I care, I love, I worry, I give it all
I don’t get anything back, it makes me feel so small
All I ever wanted was stability and to belong
Yet I don’t feel that way and it’s an end I’m trying to prolong
Everything is temporary, even he’ll leave someday
It can never happen, no one ever wants to stay
He’ll see my darkness, he’ll see how unhappy I am
My smile is fake and this joy is just a scam
I’m a brooding soul, empty and black
I have nothing to offer, just a bunch of words ready to attack
I’m a failure, a bad person and no good at all
I’m just a little hermit in this world so tall.