The Golden Dawn
I soaked in the silky smooth light,
Everything around,beautiful and bright,
People moving around freely,
Everyone looked so blissfully
Happy and serene,
Everybody so lovable and genuine,
I didn’t understand where I was,
Other than the fact that unknown twas.
I moved along for sometime,
Lending my ears to musical chimes,
I felt a holy calm and at peace,
Though alone,still at ease.
Beautiful spring flowers bloomed,
Tall green,pruned trees with them rhymed,
Crystal clean springs gurgled and flowed,
Fresh life giving fragrant wind breezed.
As this place tried to enchant,
All of a sudden I met an Aunt,
From the earth long lost,
On seeing her my happiness was utmost,
She hugged me and welcomed me warmly,
Although I never remembered her so fondly.
She spoke so lovingly,her face had a beautiful calmness,
Around,full of extreme adorableness,
She took my arms and took me around,
As I soaked in the heavenly surrounds,
The fragrant air and the beauty abundant
A creation so resplendent,
There we came across a couple’s presence,
And behold they were my grandparents ,
My grandfather whom I had seen in pictures,
My grandmother whom I had seen as a toddler,
The ‘unknown’ but known faces brought tears
An unexplained amount of love and cheer.
Some time I spent with them,
Aunty pulled me at the hem,
From them I took my leave,
To see them happy,was so releaved.
My next stoppage brought me face to face
With my maternal grandmom,by God’s grace
She was here with her better half
And her elder son,my uncle,with that same old laugh.
They had me pampered
And mollycoddled,
I felt like a child in their presence
And was not at all bothered by the absence
Of my family members,
Nor did I miss them,nor remember.
But one thing did raise a question,
How did this Aunt know all my kin!
All who had departed,
And long separated!
The happiness of meeting them left me excited but numb, Was speechless, smiling,choking with emotions but dumb.
Suddenly I heard a cry,
That was a baby cry wry,
Oh God! That was my two month old crying,
Instantly I felt my heart dying,
To see him and hold him,
To cuddle him and embrace him.
But how? Where am I? Did I lose my way?
Someone please lead me away
To my son, he cries for me,
Oh! How could I let him be,
Crying and hungry,
Without his Maa,alone and dreary.
His cries worsened,
As I forgot all my relations,
I cried myself hoarse
And in due course,
Was brought to a piercing light,
It pierced through my inside
And then I heard a roaring voice,
“This is the wrong choice.”
“Send her back to where she belongs”
And was pushed in a tunnel long,
Full of light , in it I twirled
And furled,like a twig I churned.
My baby , my baby I screamed,
Lo! I then with a jerk landed,
Amidst voices and tinkering instruments
And in immense pain,
Surrounded by nurses,doctors and green panes.
I looked for the people I had just met,
Realised,that of their live selves,they were silhouettes,
They were all gone and dead,
Still so much life and love they shared.
Had I been to the ‘Land of The Dead’
And forced to return to my bed
Because of a wrong choice made!
Or because my son’s infant cries prayed?
Oh! why did I have to come back to a virtual world?
To false faces, false promises, false words!
But no ,I am here now for a purpose,
To raise my child, to nurse,
Then amongst all my world mates resurface,
To offer my love,labour and services,
Selflessly and lovingly,
Happily and willingly,
To fight all ills daringly,
Determinedly and affectingly,.
I know now,that there is another world beyond,
Where my loved ones so fond,
Are waiting for me with open arms,
To welcome me with all their love and warmth.
Till then I keep moving on,
Waiting for that golden dawn.
-Madhumita
Nice poem
nice poetry 🙂
Hey, I really like your poem. I would like to write a review about it.
The poem takes the reader on a spiritual journey, depicting the narrator’s encounter with their deceased loved ones in a realm between life and death. The exploration of themes such as love, loss, and the purpose of life adds depth and complexity to the narrative.
One of the poem’s notable strengths is its vivid imagery. The descriptions of the silky smooth light, blooming spring flowers, and tall green trees create a serene and enchanting atmosphere. The use of sensory details, such as the gurgling springs and fragrant wind, enhances the reader’s engagement with the surroundings, painting a vivid picture in their minds.
Additionally, the poem effectively conveys the emotional depth of the narrator’s experience. The joy and warmth felt when encountering their grandparents and maternal family evoke a powerful sense of love and connection. The longing to hold their crying baby adds a touch of bittersweetness and emphasizes the contrasting realities of the spiritual realm and the physical world.
However, the structure of the poem could benefit from improvement. The transitions between scenes and ideas are abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the narrative progression. Establishing clearer connections and providing smoother transitions between the encounters with different family members would enhance the flow and coherence of the poem.
Moreover, the poem would benefit from grammatical revisions. There are instances of incorrect verb tense usage, punctuation errors, and inconsistent capitalization. For example, “But no ,I am here now for a purpose” should be written as “But no, I am here now for a purpose.” Careful proofreading and editing would help ensure grammatical accuracy and enhance the overall professionalism of the poem.
Furthermore, while the poem explores profound themes, the ending feels somewhat open-ended. It raises intriguing questions about the purpose of life but doesn’t offer a definitive resolution. Providing a stronger sense of closure or offering deeper insights into the purpose the narrator is meant to fulfill would bring a more satisfying conclusion to the poem.
In conclusion, the poem effectively captures the emotional depth and spiritual journey of the narrator. Its vivid imagery and exploration of themes add depth and resonance to the narrative. However, the structure could benefit from smoother transitions, and the poem would benefit from grammatical revisions for improved clarity and professionalism. Establishing a stronger resolution or providing deeper insights into the purpose of life would bring a more fulfilling conclusion to the poem.