You left me wilted….
Don’t even look back at me…
Since you left..,
I’m in a typhoon…
But still…..
Looking for you!!!
You
Comments
One response to “You”
-
Hi.
This poem can really be improved if you used commas and full stops instead of Ellipsis. I understand that the attempt is to make the poem look more wishful and echo-like, but it comes off as someone who keeps getting lost mid-sentences.
I think you can look into this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CF-CiP3XbU&pp=ygUoaG93IHRvIG1ha2VtYWtlIGZyZWUgdmVyc2Ugc291bmQgd2lzaGZ1bA%3D%3D
Hope this helps!
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.