A Promise

Me the gurgling,dancing stream,
You are endless,the extreme,
Jumping over the Rocks and boulders,
With a wish to lean on your shoulders,
Leaving my place of origin,
Washing away all dirt and sins,
I erode and break the solid to dust,
To be one with you,that I must,
I give you your form and expanse,
As drop by drop towards you I advance,
But finally when we meet,
Amidst the vast watery sheet,
I lose myself to you completely,
Merge into you,forever shining brightly.

Where is my presence now?
Questioning my existence with thou,
I fail to find myself,
Within you,feeling like an elf;
I wonder about my yearnings
Of rushing to you,with love burning,
Of my complete dedication,
Total submission,
To see myself lost,
In your expanded chest vast,
I want to retrace my way,my track,
Your mighty waves pull me back,
Unable to break our forever bond,
Thinking of my life now and beyond.

To my queries, I seek a response,
Giving in to you and your wants,
Here I flow unnamed,
In shackles and tamed,
I want to fight with your vastness,
I know the world will term it ‘my madness’,
I want to nullify your presence,
As you negate and finish my essence,
On my own path I want to flow,
On a path,to that does not go,
Where I can be effervescent,
Like a joyful,lively adolescent;
And be my usual,cheerful self,
Flow by myself,be myself.

Then that is not to be,
A river will always come to thee,
I may change my course,
Even cry myself hoarse,
I may break my banks and flood,
Be blamed for loss of blood,
My heart heavy with grime and mud,
I try to race against and scud,
But unwillingly I again move towards
You;Although by you completely ignored,
I slow down,fatigued and tired,
Of not getting the now desired,
With you I become one,
Yes I lost and you again won.

One day I will carve my own way,
Will flow freely,be happy and gay,
Then I will not have to look for myself,
Even if you try to get me yourself,
I will keep on searching for my significance;
And promise you,will make a difference,
How much you may shout and roar,
I will never reach your shore,
For that day I constantly pray,
When,within you, I will not decay,
It will be as never before,
My current,will never knock your waves’ door,
I will be the river,streaming in gay abandon,
But you my selfish companion,I will never pardon.

-Madhumita