Jhilmil

I still love you,
but I don’t want you anymore.
I still imagine sitting under stars with your hands in mine,
But I don’t wanna even meet you in real life.
I still remember our moments of togetherness,
But I have lost the only gift given by you.
I still write about the love I have for you,
But now I write more about myself too.
I can still hear your promises and confessions,
But I have deleted your number long ago.
I still know your likes and dislikes,
But they doesn’t effects mine now.
I still stalk your Insta profile everyday,
But I don’t stop on your stories now.
I still remember your handwriting,
But I don’t try to write that way now.
Yeah I still love you and will love forever,
But you are no more the person I fell for.

You know how it feels??
To dig ur grave yourself
To crave for someone
Who takes you as no one
You know how it feels??
When you know it’s not for you
When you delve deeper
Somewhere you shouldn’t
You know how it feels??
When he is your dream come true
But he is having dreams of her
When he is your until I met you
You know how it feels??
When he is becoming your world
And you are just someone in his world
And still you keep going there
You know how it feels??
To be upset and happy
At the same time
And knowing that it will hurt
Actually,
Yes you do know how it feels
Cz we are all the same
With same mistakes and same regrets
Just in different way
And with different people .

I want more
I want to dance with you in the streets of Paris
I want Seattle to be our happy at home place
I want more
I want you to make my unreal expectations come true
I want you to live with me in my world of books, characters and fiction
I want more
I want to be ur Sita
I want uh to be my Kanha
I want more
I want to be ur “until I met you”
I want me to be an exception
I want more
I want you to make my braids
I want to run my hands through ur hair
I want more
I want to fly with you in the sky of Georgia
I want to have ur firsts and lasts with me
I want more
I want to be ur last
I want uh to be my first
I want more

The fireworks don’t cheer me up anymore.
The stars don’t light up my face anymore.
The droplets doesn’t cherish me to sale paper boats, either
they seem to permit me to cry hard, cry and cry more.
The cool breeze tries its best to dry my tears , leaving the marks right there.
The celebrations give me headache more and more.
Children’s gigglings makes me irritate and frustrate.
Surprises don’t amaze me like before.
Sympathies don’t get under there called throat.
Seems like now I am grown up, grown up enough to be mature.
So yeah I am mature.
How I came here,
who made me to be here,
is it much less than what I deserve?
Questions arise and rise and rise and just as the sun sets,
they drown over there, there over my heart.
Leaving an ache, a pain enough to suffer, to bear.
It feels how its filling over there, making me shrink in my own world here.
Fear is all over here, what, when it will become
unbearable.
Would I just give up, let it burst out on anyone and everyone somewhere,
Or will make myself suffer it more and more to be stronger than that of before.
As I am grown up, I have a strong sense latter will happen for sure.