Author: Melissa

**My thoughts on having Neuropathy, and what it’s like for me,
Not only is it excruciating, it’s difficult pushing through.
Never had I imagined, it would get as painful as it can be,
It happened just over a year ago, literally right out of the blue.

**Plus daily it is a difficult fight,
Like a never-ending curse.
At least I have days when I’m feeling alright,
But the harsh reality is, it’s simply getting worse.

**And that’s not even the worst of it all,
Just a few more tales to tell.
This year I’ve lost some mobility, without my walker I know I’d fall,
Slowly destroying every nerve, I could also be paralyzed as well.

**So those are my thoughts relating, to this condition for me,
I just know it’s evil, and at times, it even makes me unsure.
Will the doctors find the answers to how neuropathy came to be,
And how it could have started, and if there will be a cure.

**I’ve been feeling this urgent need to write,
Concerning my Neuropathy pain level today.
It’s intolerable and unbearable but easier to deal with at night,
But during the day and at other times, it’s excruciating in every way.
**Though especially through it all, I’ve felt exhausted and alone,
Because those who don’t have this condition, don’t know what it’s like being me.
I’m terrified of losing all feeling, especially by myself at home,
It’s just part of the ultimate outcome, of what my Neuropathy will turn out to be.
**So emotionally after writing, I feel better a little bit more,
It felt like lots of poison, which I genuinely had to release.
Plus at least for the moment, I’m not in tears as much as before,
And I’ve accepted the harsh reality, that this pain may never cease.

**Thank You Precious Father God, for relieving my pain today,
Because it seems here lately, it never gives me a break.
I want to be able to enjoy my life, without hurting in every way,
It just feels like I’m in this nightmare, from which I cannot wake.

**Though having this condition Lord, it gets rougher as You can tell,
Uncertain of how it began, or how it came to be.
But it’s easier for me to tolerate when my extremities begin to swell,
It’s all the painful electric shocks, that’s been the toughest for me.

**So I will continue to pray for the future, that the doctors might find a cure,
Especially for those just beginning, this evil and torturing curse.
Father I ask You to help the doctors find it, because it’s very painful to endure,
Help them find the answer Lord, as to why this condition keeps getting worse.

**This horrific pain is getting worse, as time keeps passing by,
What bothers me the most, there’s nothing I can do.
And the more the pain progresses, the more I want to cry,
It’s not fair that I’m enduring this, it’s overwhelming to go through.
**I also hate the face that I’m hurting everyday,
Never getting better, but steadily getting worse.
It’s even harder to go outside,when my daughter asks me to play,
It literally makes me mad, that I have to suffer with this curse.
**So I just hope that very soon, I’ll be able to find relief,
Because on a constant basis, I can’t stand how it makes me feel.
For all this condition does, it’s causing me nothing but grief,
Why is this even happening? I just wish it wasn’t real.

**This morning at eight minutes after two,
Again it’s painful throughout my legs and feet.
Every part of this condition, I hate going through,
I wish it could vanish and become obsolete.

**But I’ve accepted the fact that there isn’t any cure,
And also the realization of it never going away.
If the pain wasn’t unbearable, it would be easier for me to endure,
And I might not despise it as much as I do today.

**Plus here lately I’ve been feeling so tired and weak,
This neuropathy has slowed my mobility, it’s not what it used to be.
I just hope I never lose my ability to speak,
Because if that ever happened, I’d no longer be me.

So for now I’m going to go ahead and close,
My eyes are very heavy and I should try to go to bed.
I’m still hurting from the pain from my knees to my feet,
On this journey I’m on with Neuropathy, it’s going to be a long road ahead.

**This morning my legs have already started to ache,
I hate that I go through this every single day.
Whenever my pain is intolerable, it then becomes too much for me to take,
I just can’t believe it’s incurable, I have no words to even say.

**Plus the more I’ve learned about having Neuropathy, how it destroys and kills off my nerves,
I cannot help but feeling that I despise it all the more.
This is definitely one condition which no one else deserves,
If only there was a cure, so I could once again become how I was before.

**So for those experiencing early symptoms, of this horrible nasty curse,
I strongly encourage you all, to get checked out when you’re possibly able to.
For the longer it’s put off, the more it’s going to get worse,
But of it is caught early enough, you have a chance of reversing it, and not suffer like I’ve been suffering through.

**The worst part of Neuropathy, which I despise so very much,
It’s when this horrific pain, doesn’t seem to ever give me a break.
And all throughout my legs and feet, I start bawling from the slightest touch,
It’s just gotten to the point, to where it’s too intolerable to take.

**Plus I’ve accepted the harsh realization, of the fact there is no cure,
Both physically and mentally, I’m still trying to get myself prepared.
And ever since my first diagnosis, it’s gotten worse & impossible to endure,
Because not knowing the final outcome, I can truthfully admit I’m scared.

**So no matter what the outcome turns out to be,
I’ll continue taking it slowly, as I’ve done day after day.
Thanks to all the loving support that’s now surrounded me,
I will keep on fighting this, despite any obstacle that come my way.

**My mental state here lately, hasn’t been very well,
Mainly because of everything I’m medically battling through.
But whenever it’s gotten to be too much, I feel like I blasted through Hell,
My body’s physically drained, & my mind is also feeling it too.
**Since I first started coping with these horrific & progressive conditions,
It feels like I’ve been struck by a nuclear double curse.
Already knowing I’ve lost some mobility, it’s not fair there’s no remissions,
I’m just 37 yet inside, I can tell it’s only going to get worse.
**Though this one small realization, it’s tough to even say,
I literally wasn’t this feeble, just a few short years ago.
Back then I could walk with no issues, unfortunately I cannot today,
What I’m battling is like an avalanche, trying to bury me underneath its snow.
**And I can sense who’s reading this is curious, so I suppose it’s time that I reveal,
To let you know exactly how much pain I’m having to endure.
It’s both Neuropathy and Lymphedema, killing the nerves which allows me to feel,
I hate that it’s even happening, even God agrees I’m sure.
**So for now I will close this poem & go,
No matter how much pain I’m in, I’m still going to enjoy my day.
Although I’m hurting terribly, I’m trying hard to not let it show,
Because not even these two conditions, can steal my happiness away.

**My doctor confirmed my condition, during our telephone call one
day,
It’s known as Peripheral Neuropathy, & it’s nothing like I thought it
would be.
It’s progressive & incurable, affecting my nerves in every way,
And I still can’t fully process, that this is actually happening to me.
**Plus I cannot believe, all the torture this condition can do,
The number one thing that scares me, is that it’s going to destroy my
nerves.
Also taking my motor functions, & my sensory to feeling too,
For this is one condition, that nobody on Earth deserves.
**So now with a better understanding, that I may never be rid of this
curse,
I’ll have to discover new ways, on how to be able to live with this &
cope.
In a sense I’ve come to accept it, though uncertain of how it gets
worse,
But as long as I keep pushing forward, I’ll know that there’s still hope.