Letter of the dead
Dark ominous woods and burnt meadows,
Some feeble leaves and a dry dead rose.
Scream of life falls to the quietude of dead,
Walks where a cadaver with a fitful head.
Fissure running down the unclad feet,
To cross her path amidst the bygone fleet.
Black dull eyes scaling the whole graveyard,
A bygone soul with an old love card.
The fragile old smile seems pristine,
His few last words like sips of wine.
His love outstrips the barriers of coffin,
A mere white cloth turns to green.
But miffed he returns to his own grave,
For she’s still alive and is clock’s slave.
His letter to her needs a few more toil,
Unless both of them share the same brown soil.
The excerpt you provided evokes a sense of desolation and decay through its imagery of dark ominous woods, burnt meadows, feeble leaves, and a dry dead rose. It portrays a stark contrast between the vibrancy of life and the silence of death. The line “Scream of life falls to the quietude of dead” captures a powerful transition from vitality to stillness.
The fragment suggests a contemplation of mortality, the transient nature of existence, and the inevitable passage of time. It paints a somber picture, inviting reflection on themes such as impermanence, loss, and the fragility of life.
Overall, the language and imagery used in this excerpt create a sense of melancholy and introspection, evoking a mood that may resonate with those who contemplate the complexities of human existence and the fleeting nature of our time on Earth.
Thank you so much for giving my thoughts a few minutes. I am genuinely glad that you went through the poem
The way you have explained my poem, I can proudly say that your comment is more poetic than my poem.
Longing in Haunting Verse
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Dark ominous woods and burnt meadows,
Some feeble leaves and a dry dead rose.
Scream of life falls to the quietude of dead,
Walks where a cadaver with a fitful head.
Fissure running down the unclad feet,
To cross her path amidst the bygone fleet.
Black dull eyes scaling the whole graveyard,
A bygone soul with an old love card.
The fragile old smile seems pristine,
His few last words like sips of wine.
His love outstrips the barriers of coffin,
A mere white cloth turns to green.
But miffed he returns to his own grave,
For she’s still alive and is clock’s slave.
His letter to her needs a few more toil,
Unless both of them share the same brown soil.
Review this poem
ChatGPT
Your poem creates a dark and somber atmosphere, filled with imagery that evokes feelings of loss, decay, and longing. The use of contrasting elements such as “dark ominous woods and burnt meadows” and “feeble leaves and a dry dead rose” adds to the overall sense of desolation. The repetition of the word “dead” and the references to graves and cadavers contribute to the macabre tone.
The poem introduces a character who seems to be a ghost or a spirit, seeking to reunite with his lost love. The mention of the “unclad feet” and the “bygone fleet” suggests a journey or a crossing of paths. The description of the protagonist’s “black dull eyes scaling the whole graveyard” paints a vivid picture of his ghostly presence.
The phrase “A mere white cloth turns to green” is intriguing, suggesting a transformation or renewal. It conveys the idea that love can transcend death, even though the protagonist is confined to his grave.
The poem concludes with a bittersweet realization that the protagonist’s love is still alive and constrained by time, represented by the phrase “clock’s slave.” The mention of a letter indicates a longing for communication and connection. The final lines express the hope that both the protagonist and his love will eventually share the same fate and rest together in the earth.
Overall, your poem effectively captures a sense of melancholy and a yearning for love beyond the boundaries of life and death. The imagery and themes work well together to create a haunting and thought-provoking piece.
It’s my privilege only that you gave my poem a look. Thank you so much.
This poem is a beautifully written piece that captures a dark and eerie atmosphere through its use of vivid, poetic language. The imagery of the burnt meadows and cadaver walking around with a fitful head creates a sense of foreboding and death. The poem’s central theme of love that transcends death is well-executed, with the soul’s love for their living companion being a powerful driving force throughout the piece. The final lines underscore the finality of death and the inevitability of time, leaving the reader with a sense of melancholy and longing. Overall, this is a haunting and thought-provoking work that lingers in the mind long after it has been read.
Thank you so much for your gentle words in favour of my poem. It means a lot.
The poem evokes a sense of hopelessness and an unfulfilled desire to unite with the beloved ironically expressed by the dead lover who languishes in a gloomy place under the earth yet trying to transcend the boundaries that separates them. The brutal fact that the lovers cannot be united in actual life because both inhabit complete different spaces is manifested in the second stanza where “Fissures running down the unclad feet” evokes an imagery of deep cracks that runs down those feet stripped of their outer trappings. That death deprives every being of the all the material possessions is beautifully exemplified through these lines . The lover tries to stray into her beloved’s world through “act of scaling the graveyard” and is “a bygone soul” with an “old love card” that hasn’t yet perished along with his death.
The lover becomes nostalgic and harks back to those days when the ” old smile seemed pristine” and the “last few words were sips of wine” that suggests the intoxicating quality of the last words of the lover before his death.
The next stanza depicts almost an improbable situation where his passionate love is personified and attempts to break away from the bonds that separates the two signified in the lines where his intense love acquires a supernatural power of its own by physically outstripping “the barriers of coffin” and the metaphorical description of the “white cloth turned into green” represents the lover trying to resurrect himself from death and regain youthful love that didn’t consummate due to the untimely death of the lover.
In the final stanza the lover is brought down from the towering heights of unfulfilled longings to the harsh reality where his grave is located whose essence is captured in the lines “Miffed he returns to his grave” and realizes that the beloved is still alive and is the subjected to unavoidable compulsions of time. In order to materialize the perfect union between the two lovers, it is necessary that the beloved achieve the same state in which the lover is now languishing i. e. death. She must break free from the rigors of time and mingle and share the same brown soil in order to unite with him and fructify their love. The lover believes that the “letter” which symbolically represents his love for his beloved, must be more passionate in spirit unless death annihilates her corporeal existence to the level of dust. The theme of this poem is consistent with the idea of death being a great leveler that erases differences and reduces every being to an insignificant common yet inevitable state.
Overall, a well-written and well-rhymed poem that vividly portrays the sustenance of abstract qualities like love in the mortal world even after destruction of the corporeal bodies which had been nourished by that imperishable affection. It is a poem steeped in deep melancholy, sadness and hopeless despair for unconsummated love.