Enlightenment!
When your heart feels doomed
And your charm fades
When the world goes silent
And there’s a chaos made
When the sky turns blue and grey and cold
When you feel resentful and you cannot hold
When your eyes get tired of crying pain
And your efforts to be content goes in vain
When your fingers paint a gloomy face
And your feet feel tired of the savage race
When your throat , croons the song of blame
And your life feels like an ever lost game
That is the moment, to stop and choose
For what is to gain and what to lose
Life can’t be perfect , it’s rather a choice
Soften your heart and listen to the voice
For this life is once, so blossom and glow
Take a step and your enlightenment will grow.
-Pragya
It is a poignant and insightful poem that resonates with the reader’s own experiences of navigating life’s trials. It inspires us to acknowledge the challenges we face yet reminds us of the agency we possess to shape our lives and find inner strength. Through its evocative imagery and empowering message, the poem offers solace and encouragement, reminding us that even in the darkest moments, we have the power to choose our path and flourish.
The poem craves for a better world and reflects about the sad state of affairs in the world.The melancholy of lives in the world is critiqued through beautiful imagery in this poem. It persuades the reader to feel refreshed and stop bothering about the problems, whilst finding solace in the beauty of the world.
The poet’s ability to evoke emotions filled with visual imagery is deserves appreciation. The lines “When the world goes silent” and “When your fingers paint a gloomy face” evoke a strong sense of sadness and solitude, which makes the readers empathize with the speaker’s plight. It also makes the reader search for their own self inbetween the lines due to the relatable emotions. The contrast between the cold, blue-grey sky and the yearning for warmth and contentment creates a poignant atmosphere.
The poem also focuses on the desire to have a choice in the world of chaos and The lines “That is the moment, to stop and choose / For what is to gain and what to lose” encapsulate the pivotal moment of decision-making and self-reflection. The call to reflect on the problems we face and downsizing the issues creates a different outlook to the world. It is as though poet asks the readers to look at the meaninglessness of life and how small is a human life. The poet calls out to embrace this life than pondering upon the problems.
This poem is a flowing example of Wordsworth’s definition of poetry, “Spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings recollected in tranquility”.
To enhance the impact of the poem, the poet could consider some suggestions:
Structural Consistency: The poet could have focussed on a uniform rhyme or structure to the poem as a large chunk of the poem is in rhyme scheme but the starting stanza’s are in free verse. Maintaining a consistent syllable count or adhering to a specific rhyme scheme would have made it more beautiful.
Clarify Intent: The poem could have clarified the intent of the speaker. There could have been a bit about the life or past of the speaker which would have elucidated the emotions with the readers and made the poem impactful.
Diverse Vocabulary and figures of speech: Exploring the vocabulary used in the poem to induce versatile tone and emotions would have made it more pleasant. Utilizing synonyms and exploring more metaphors and simile can prevent repetition and maintain the reader’s interest.
Overall, the poem is a great piece of art with a message about finding hope and solace in one’s darkest days. With some refining on the above mentioned details, the poet can further enhance their work and create an even more impactful and resonant piece.