I don’t wanna open my eyes tonight,
The stars, are lovelier than ever but
Enough of it, it’s just way too bright
I am just confused or am I acting
I don’t even know noone really helps explain,
I have been betrayed by someone of my own skin
I have been made fun of, I feel like a sin
Those eyes which I used to find peace with
They look at me doubting and show me my fears
I am forced to keep my cries to my own ears.
It started so well but, why is the world so dark
Now everything inside me burns
Shooting embers from the very soothing spark
I feel kinda guilty even penning this down
I hope no one sees it, I hope they don’t frown
If I could scream my voice would leave my soul
My Soul, can I even trust it anymore.
You always gave me hope, I clung to it
You said you would be my rescuer
You let me come out of my shell, hidden I was
But why then Fire to this Moth you became
But why then my worries which you took in
You threw them back to me like pieces of trash
I used to be scared of them too,
Then why did you caress their back
Oh pretty little teenage dream why,
Did you kiss my tears just to mock my cry.
My face was full of scars, my heart a mess
You first traced them like beautiful gems
Then carved them back with all you had.
Don’t worry dear princess your prince is back,
Don’t worry my sword your shield is up
Make my blood drip, and my bones crack.
I have become a clown on my story and you
My perfect princess, love me the way you like
Tonight don’t go soft, tonight it won’t suffice
From now on be my luck, play with your dice.
In my death too I would be in love
I hope it’s by your hands, the more I get hurt
The more my fantasies come to life.
Just a little doubt dear, if you could clarify
Just something that keeps clawing at me
So that my evil heart will purify,
Sorry I am like this, forgive my foolish lips.
When, it came to you I was soft like you asked
I never gave up on hope I kept trying,
I always gave you love my sunflower
You even called me sunshine, tell me
When I was at my worst why did my tears
Become your disgust, just give a reason.
Everytime I break the peace we create,
You regret your attachment, deny my love
And you give me my deserving share of hate.
Even you had some dark times,
But it was still lovable, I would think
Maybe you were right, I am just hard to love
I am sorry honey I have been such a thorn
You always say you will tell me if it goes wrong
But now I know that it was just me all along.
What a shame I have been to you.
You’re so pure, I couldn’t understand
I kept trying to toy with you
I kept hitting you with my cold hand,
I am so grateful for the things you’ve said
I am gonna be a good boy from now I promise
The way I feel now is going to be my penance,
This dumb and unspiritual me in severance
This is how I’ll gain knowledge and peace
I’ll create your castle strong with your words
I will make it the safe home you wished for.
Shall I tell you this nonsense I wrote,
I hope, you won’t come and slap me hard
I wish I could keep this in my note,
But the thought of showing you my love
The way I want to love and repent,
It’s hits me hard oh love just what do I do.
If I tell you what I’ve been writing, will you see
If you become angry then please goon punish me.
I will tell you all of this once you come
Yes I will become the perfect one I hope.
No I will become the perfect one and that’s my only hope.
I look at those, how lucky they are
Whom you plead to stay when they try to leave
But for me you wish, that I would go away far
Yeah kinda it kinda hurts not like I care
Things like those are meant for the good
And puny me, well I get angry on stupid food,
It’s alright when I think of it maybe due to them
You get hurt as you watch their tantrums
So when you know your reliable is here,
You goon and spend your troubles on me.
Now I know what I said above,
Must have made your brain a mess
To create peace I wanna gift you all of my love
So don’t you ever think of ending up being alone
And it’s alright if that’s your wish,
I am ready to fullfill your worthy commands
In being a medium for your loving demands
I get my life, I feel like I am home.
So dear baby don’t your cry I’ll wipe your tears
And I’ll be the light, shining over all your fears.
I am grateful to you so very grateful I am.